A Kitty’s Tale
Meow there humans and WELCOME to Catnap Cash where the focus is (you guessed it) CATS, NAPS, and CASH.
Where are my savvy money chasers, purrfectly frugal felines, professional nap chasers, and fellow creatures of the internet?!
Allow me to introduce my alter ego – Purrsy Bills the Cat. Tis a passionate tracker of all things green (cash, sleeping under a green blanket made of dollar bills, savings strategies, etc.) and a lover of all things feline (you know like catnip, catnaps, digging my claws into budgeting for tuna treats.)
I know you are already looking for the portrait of me eh? I won’t leave you in suspense any longer. Let’s get this little courting introduction out of the way.
Scroll down human…
Brace Yourself…
Ta Dah !
I can’t help it if my ears and whiskers are always ready for the camera! Now that we’ve gotten that little tisk of a task out of the way I know you’re wondering how I came to be…
The Short Summary
If you’re looking for a short summary, myself and a few of my relatives will take you on a journey of many things money (meowney), getting the best naps (sleep), and feature stories that may entertain you via my species. (Hence the name of the site.) We will also attempt to teach you about our species as we feel we are often misunderstood furry creatures.
If you’re looking for the long summary…read on human!
The Long Summary
So you’ve chosen the fun route? Brace yourself…it’s a doozy!
What Am I ?
I’m like a peculiar blend of two worlds, a fusion of human intellect and feline grace. Believe it or not, I bear the traits of both species:
My eyes possess a cat’s keen gaze, reflecting curiosity and a hint of mischief, while my agility, nose, and reflexes echo the graceful prowling of a cat while sniffing out money savings throughout the night. Yet alas, I retain the intellect of human and cat combined.
I crave a good lobster treat while a matrix of finance tips, napping strategies for humans, and enjoying the fun of the cat prowess I possess swim around all together in my mind.
I know you need more of the backstory so buckle up human…apparently this reads like a comic book.
Lightning in a Bottle
I was a stray cat. It was the norm for me to get into a bit of mischief and have lots of naps. I was just being an alleycat prowling about my business and eating soggy street scraps on a rainy day. It all happened so fast you see. There was thunder and dark skies afoot.
I gracefully strutted through the watery alley when all of a sudden I stumbled upon a glowing rock and decided to pretend it was a mouse and try to pounce on it.
Then it happened…
Of course I didn’t see it coming. As I approached the rock and pounced, grabbing the rock with all claws and rolling around…BOOM! A massive lightning bolt striking the rock and then me! A burst of energy shot right through me! I began floating in the air and my entire fur was glowing.
The wee bit of time I had floating in the air like catnip in the breeze I began a transformation that it took me much time to wrap my paws around. My thoughts felt different. I couldn’t really explain it at the time but meow I have the words of translation. Something was unlocked that happens once in nine lives. Oh do continue to read on human, my evolution is quite pawsome. Let me fast forward a bit…
Stray No More
As the sunbeams continued to pass each day, I pounced from here to there when I ended up by a building. As I peered on, I saw lots of humans going in and out. You know what they say about curiosity and kittys. That glowing rock almost took a life so I’m a bit more careful where I put my paws!
Any who, I snuggled up behind this building for a snore when my ears perked up at the sound of thumping gradually becoming louder coming toward me. As I looked up I had a human paw petting my head.
Rather than run off in the darkness, I felt a bit at ease even though I normally shake my nervous whiskers at these events.
This human took its other paw and before I knew it was gifted a can of TUNA! What a wonderful sound the popping of a can is! Yippeeeee!
Something in my feline fur just knew this human was alright. I scarfed down the tuna can and was so excited I began walking with the human toward the nearby neighborhood. This human began speaking to me as we walked. Things like “I wonder what you’ve been up to all day little kitty.” Oddly enough I seemed to understand exactly the meaning of this odd language.
Before long as the cement ended and the fluffy, green grass continued, I saw it. The coziest perch attached to a human castle! I kept trailing behind the human and before I knew it there was a castle door. I don’t know why but my kitty instincts kicked in and I ran through the door and slowly bumped the human lady hoping that I could at least sit on that wonderful perch.
Little did I know know the jungle I was about to explore but I kept lingering around and before I knew it was able to snuggle up in a corner for the longest catnap I’ve ever had! No rain, no noise, just snores.
The Monster in the Mystery Jungle
As I stretched out my paws as the sunbeam shined down on me and took a good yawn I realized I was actually still in the human castle! But where was the human?!
Until I figured this out, my journey through this mystery jungle began. I tried making biscuits on the floor, looked for cardboard boxes, and explored all kinds of scents. I heard a noise of sorts coming from the distance but I must get there first.
I took a step on the floor and heard a creek like noise that startled even my claws. As I pranced further in the house I came across a monster of sorts. A powerful force blew my way and I felt as though I was in a wind tunnel or at the beginnings of a hurricane. It would let up and then get stronger again depending which way I moved. I tried to run around it to no avail as it would just keep coming back to attack me!
This monster had a gray tail and one eye like no other. Wherever I went, it followed direction until one slick move I gathered up all of my strength with a running start and somehow I sped past the demon with a flurry of nervous panting. One step closer to the noise, but how many of these “things” will I encounter?
My owner would later tell me that this monster’s name was “Oscillating Fan.”
The Mountain of Cotton
I continued further and approached a tall wall. I pushed my paw up against it and the wall moved! A whole other world appeared! A secret room!
I looked up and saw a very high mountain of soft cotton that smelled like a human. Dare I jump up there to see what lies at the top?
Feeling adventurous, I leaped!
The Human
As I landed on the plush mound I came right upon the noise I was chasing. It was…snoring? So these are what sleepy humans look like…
Unsure what to do next and afraid of going past the wind monster again, kitty thinks to rest my eyes here on this mound of sanctuary bliss.
Sketching Tales in Carpet
As I put paw and claw to the air for a yawn and a stretch, the human voice erupted and I got cat-snatched from the cozy cotton corner!
Kitty, meet your owner again! As I awoke, the adventures of the human would begin. So much activity to understand. And so it began…
I dashed from corner to corner watching my hueeeman’s every move and documenting notes with my claw on the carpet. I’ve sketched out the tales so I would not forget any little morsels of the story.
Below is a few so you’ll understand how we might be of use to each other throughout your journey on this site I’m made for human consumption.
A Unique Duo
You must understand, I’m no ordinary kitty and I grew to understand my owner was anything but an ordinary human. We did everything together. Taking walks, playing with laser beams and chasing from room to room. Oh but it doesn’t stop there…
Don’t be put in shock, but we even run errands together.
Once upon a whisker, I was strolling down the street with my human (on a very important mission.)
You see, we had to unravel the mysteries of life and all the tricky things it throws our way. We had a brilliant plan, oh yes.
As soon as we got back to my domain (aka my kingdom) we would sit down and use the old human/cat brain. Remember that glowing rock and the lightning bolt? Well, my human noticed I had a bit of a kitty superpower. I wasn’t just around for my pretty feline looks. I actually began helping my human solve the human puzzles.
Solving The Human Problems
Top on the list of riddles: What is this money thing that humans live and die by all about? Furthermore, why is the human always in debt? I assumed something to do with their strange obsession with that credit card thingy, but that’s another tale for another day.
But here’s the most important question because a cat still has to eat: How can they afford to bring more food to my bowl? After all, a cat’s needs are paramount, and a well-fed cat can further help figure out these little life riddles. From my perspective, I do have 9 times the puzzles to solve.
I mean I could go to the fridge and attempt some human food (I think that half human brain will let me if I had to.)
In any case, as soon as I got to the castle, I started researching (my human doesn’t realize I’ve tapped on this keyboard thingy in the middle of the night so many times I figured out a thing or three.) Don’t worry, I always sharpen my claws before I start for speed.
I believe I’ve observed enough of this human behavior and read through these amazing human interwebs enough to make quite the contribution to the human riddles.
A Few Trick$ Up My Furry Sleeve
Are you having a hard time digging out of those money pits, human? Are you ready to pounce on some new money-savvy ideas? I’ve got a few tricks up my furry sleeve that might help you claw your way to financial success!
I’m here to guide you through some of your financial adventures, misadventures, offer tips & tricks for saving, spending, getting out of debt, and digging about for more cash all while ensuring you get a good catnap. Let’s not forget I must use my cat voice at times or else it just wouldn’t like home.
A Thing or Two About a Kitty
While I’m dropping all the expert dimes just like how I do in my litter box, I’ll throw in some fun things about a kitty and bump your ankles every now and then so you won’t forget I’m here. I mean what’s the point of sniffing the morning air if not having a bit of fun with your favorite cat while learning eh?
Back to the Start
Now, let’s get you back to the start or you can pick a CAT-egory! You will learn more of my superpowers over time human.
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